Note: Dear Sir or Madam, The following is a note for Emma Watson.
Please please please, pass it along to her if you see her.
I am releasing this letter into the ether in the hopes that it somehow finds its way to you!
My name is Amy Van Doran, and I am a professional matchmaker in New York City, I am the premier feminist matchmaker, I specialize in curating the love lives of brilliant, cool, inspired, and liberated single women and the men that love them.
Like you, I identify as a feminist, and find myself in a constant, uphill battle to bridge the gender inequality gaps that remain so pervasive in the contemporary dating landscape. I found that my gift in life was that I have exquisite taste in people and have a penchant for introducing people their awe inspired equal. It is my life’s quest to educate men on the joys of falling in love with intelligent, powerful, successful women, and helping these women (because, we know it is hard, and settling is not an option!) find their equally as spiritually evolved partner.
Emma, I am writing to you, in the unlikely event that you are single, because I want to offer you my services. Completely pro bono!
Why you? Well, because I have a feeling you might be extraordinary. And, I think you might be the perfect match for a gentleman, whom I believe is the best man I know (and trust me, I have interviewed thousands). He is intellectually expansive, handsome, brilliant, wildly successful, emotionally intelligent, and socially responsible. If this all sounds good feel free to reach out, and perhaps I can have you by the office for a nice tea or lady kiki.